


Team Building Exercises

by peyj_turner



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Gen, Laser Tag, Minotaurs, modern mythology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 05:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peyj_turner/pseuds/peyj_turner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minotaurs and laser tag and team-building exercises. What can possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Team Building Exercises

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tumblr post by [spaceships-in-the-club](http://spaceships-in-the-club.tumblr.com/post/78554626115).
> 
> Dear followers, I submit for your consideration:  
> Minotaurs and laser tag  
> Minotaurs loving laser tag because of the labyrinthine arenas and the thrill of the chase  
> Minotaur teenagers spending every Friday night playing laser tag  
> Minotaur-owned laser tag arenas in predominantly minotaur neighbourhoods  
> Corporations going on team-building exercises to laser tag arenas and the one minotaur employee getting REALLY INTENSE ABOUT IT  
> Minotaurs and laser tag  
> 

“Okay, is everybody here?”

A frumpy middle-aged man in a sky-blue dress shirt stood on a small platform in front of a small crowd of his employees. Through his horn rimmed glasses, he looked across the room where they were all held. Everyone, except him, were in clad in shorts, sneakers and the same bright yellow t-shirts with the company logo emblazoned on the front and the words ‘2014 Indoor Inter-Office Olympics’ in the back. The words in the back were in all-caps and in comic sans, a design choice that could have only been made by committee.

“I said, is everybody here?”

There was a murmur of general approval in the crowd, some shifting of feet and the sound of a few conversations being cut short as their boss asked for their attention.

“I think Jeff’s still changing, Mr. Pierce,” one human woman replied.

“Yeah, I think I saw him just coming out of the locker rooms,” added one of the satyrs, adjusting his shorts to ride just under his short tuft of a tail.

The door behind the crowd swung open. Jeff strode in the room, his hoofs clopping noisily on the titled floor of the room, still trying to cover his belly with a shirt that was a little too small for him.

“Sorry guys,” he stammered, “I got one of the last shirts, and my horns kept getting stuck.”

The frumpy middle-aged man sighed and silently rolled his eyes a little, and reassessed the situation.

“Okay, now that _everyone_ is here, I’m going to hand the reins over — no offense, Deeds, (A centaur near the middle of the crowd whinnied noncommittally.) — to the team leaders of this group, while I go back to the office and get some work done before the next week’s audit.”

Mr. Pierce walked off to a side door and disappeared from the crowd’s view, while another satyr and a female cyclops, clad in tee-shirts and shorts like the rest of the staff, took to the stage from either side, almost leaping to meet in the center with a high-five.

“Hey guys!” announced the cyclops. “We’re your team leaders today, and in this leg of the IntelleCorp’s 2014 Indoor Inter-Office Olympics, we’re playing—”

“— LAZER TAG!” finished the satyr, placing an extra emphasis on the “Z” so as not to confuse anyone between this and the less extreme version of the sport spelled with just the letter “S.”

The crowd of employees in front of them stared.

The satyr continued. “Uh...just so you know, the format of the game is Red versus Blue, and the team with the most points at the end of three rounds gets a Poppa Paolo’s Pizza pizza party on the company, alcoholic drinks included!”

The crowd murmured with general approval. Nothing motivates a room of twenty-somethings like company-sponsored booze and pizza.

“And remember: the person with the highest total point tally at the end of the entire game wins a PS4! You each have been assigned to teams in the packet you got earlier this morning, and the corresponding exits lead to your team’s changing rooms. You’ve all got a few minutes to suit up for the first round. Let’s get excited y’all, this is going to be fun!” finished the cyclops with a fervor. The crowd started to move towards the doors that would lead in their respective teams.

“All right, remember the rules...” drifted the voice of the cyclops. 

In the hubbub of people moving about, Jeff the Minotaur could only think back to his childhood days of playing tag in the alleyways of his home city and the weekends of laser-tag with his high-school buddies, just like this. It was something he just knew he was good at that didn’t involve sitting awkwardly at a desk two sizes too small for him, punching numbers into cells on a keyboard that his slightly larger hands couldn’t really handle. He would finally be in his element. He walked through the exits, and donned the familiar padded vests (created to simulate knock-back where the lasers ‘hit’ you) and wrapped his fingers around the chunky plastic rifles with the grip of an expert marksman.

A timer on the wall counted down until the arena was open for the first round, and instructions to keep behind a certain yellow line before said counter counted down were placed just underneath it. The other employees and the staff of the UltraZone Lazer Tag Arena were already milling about near the entrance to the arena, either helping people get fitted in similar laser tag gear or directing them to the starting zone. 

“The first round will start in thirty seconds,” rang the referee over the PA system, just barely audible against the dubstep echoing in the arena. People were lining up for the round, but only Jeff was in a runner’s starting position behind the yellow line. Like the professional all-minotaur laser-tag teams he idolized throughout his life, he tensed the muscles around his hocks in anticipation of the game.

“...three! Two! One! ENGAGE!”

———

“Okay. Run this by me again, kid: one minotaur did all of this...all by himself?!”

The screens were flashing the CCTV feeds of the past hour and a half, where it was almost possible to see a large, furry blur weave past people in varying degrees of shock and confusion and disappointment. Every time a screen flashed, a new angle depicting similar scenes played, while a counter on a different screen kept track of a number that rose with every flash. An employee of the UltraZone Lazer Tag Arena at the control console tried to search his mind for an answer while the simulated carnage played on nine different screens in front of him.

“I don’t know, sir, but I do know that he scored the most out of both teams by a landslide. And he only got hit once when took on a squad of five people from the opposite team!”

“That’s amazing! What’s his name?”

“According to the records, Jeff Rushbull, sir,” he stuttered as he pushed a few buttons on the console to enlarge the scoreboard. “As soon as I saw the footage myself, I thought I would call you and show you how he did. He even out paced some of our regulars.”

Atop the table of numbers, Jeff’s name sat on the very top. The scores underneath his numbered in the dozens or so, but only Jeff’s cracked triple digits. The light from the screens reflected against the mirrored sunglasses resting on a wrinkled old face. He leaned in and kept watching Jeff pick off people from a vantage point. He’s seen scores and moves like that before, but only in some of the better minor leagues teams, maybe some of the major leagues. He’s never seen someone this good since...since that day he found the Ironhoof brothers. His old skin contorted into a grin.

The man leaned back into his chair as he continued to watch Jeff flank his opponents. “Well kiddo, you’ve witnessed something great today.”

“What, sir?”

His grin widened.

“The beginnings of a legend.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This was really fun!


End file.
